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This is the old "COLUMNS" page. The "2001 COLUMNS" are here

FROM: ROCK CITY NEWS, LOS ANGELES, VOL 18, NO 22

Hello, and welcome back to the reality of life. LetÕs start this column off with the election coming up. We recommend voting for Al Gore. We think someone else might have been a better choice for Vice President, but thatÕs beside the point.
If Bush wins it will be a giant step backwards for our society. The technology revolution has moved us forward faster than anyone planned, and the conservative Republicans represent backwardness. Also, Bush represents the rich and plans to give all their tax money back. Fuck that. Tax um more!
In other choices this election, the most important one is to get rid of that stinking Rogan in Glendale. HeÕs the asshole that led the RepublicanÕs witch hunt to impeach President Clinton. His opponent is Schiff, who we no nothing about, but in cases like this it doesnÕt matter. Vote for Schiff and get Rogan out of office!
The propostition for vouchers for schools is ridiculous. It basically says take money from poor schools and give $5,000 to every rich person so they can sent their kids to private schools. Whoever put that bill on the ballot should be lined up and shot.

In other news, our dear corrupt mayor, Mr. Rear-don, is on the news every night bragging about how he solved the MTA bus strike. Give me a fucking break! First of all, he made himself a member of the MTA, and then tried to represent the union. Then, when the strike came, he went on vacation for two weeks. HeÕs not the solution, heÕs the problem.

And the worst corruption of all is Police Chief Parks, who is sure his good ol boys did nothing wrong in shooting the guy at the Halloween party, and is sure all the officers from Rampart are innocent. The Police have spent considerable time and effort to fabricate stories and press about a dead person buried in Mexico to prove there is only one bad guy and everyone else is a good guy. Hey. The Emperor has no clothes. There is no body buried in Mexico. DonÕt tell that to Parks, though. He is currently pouring the gasoline around town for the next L.A. riot when all Rampart officers are cleared of all wrongdoing.

On legislature, a bill in presently on the federal spending bill aimed at curbing a wave of small nonprofit and grass-roots radio stations that might compete against large commercial stations. It requires the FCC to impose stricter protections for commercial stations against low powered stations.
Here in Los Angeles we have way to many great radio stations, so it wouldnÕt hurt to eliminate half of them anyway.

OK, on to bigger and better fish to fry. HereÕs a good one . . . How come the L.A. Times is scared to say the word ÓRock?Ó Did you ever notice? They list their calendar as ÓPopÓ music, and all their reviews as ÓPopÓ music, and their staff as ÓPopÓ editors, and . . . well you get the point. TheyÕre ÓPopÓ addicts. cause theyÕre too whimpy to say the word ÓRock.Ó They even list Limp Bisquit and other such bands as ÓPop!Ó Give me a fucking break! Pop sucks! Pop means ÓpopularÓ and relates mostly to commercial radio music and 60Õs music. I associate Pop music with elevator music. When I listened to KBIG, the easy listening radio station, I hear a lot of Pop music. Pop music reminds me of Michael Jackson, Óthe king of pop,Ó and that about says it all. Pop is OK for girls, and the over 60 readers.

And what about that middle east crisis. Every day we see the Palastinians throwing rocks at the Israeli tanks. WeÕre thinking of starting a Guns and Roses tribute band called Guns and Rocks and playing our version of ÓWelcome to Jeresulum.Ó WeÕll still call our album ÓAppetite for Destruction.Ó
I grew up in Christian home, and we all learned that the Palestinians were the bad guys and the Israelites were the good guys. This has become engrained in our society and we still believe that 2000 years later. Give me fucking . . . (oh, I already used that). I canÕt blame the Palastinians for revolting. ItÕs their land, and itÕs being taken over by Israelis, who are sponsored by the U.S. When our president-to-be, Mr. Gore, chose Lieberman for Vice President, the Palastinians realized they didnÕt have a chance. ThatÕs why theyÕre Óraging against the machine.Ó ThatÕs why they bombed our boat. IÕm not sponsoring terrorism, IÕm just looking for the cause. It takes a brave man to die for his country, even though President Clinton calls it a Ódispicable cowardly act.Ó The movie ÓRules of EngagementÓ recently showed the rules of war, which are not to attack civilians. They didnÕt. And tell them theyÕre not at war just because they donÕt Ódeclare war.Ó
Can you imagine what would happen if Yemen declared war on the U.S.? Can you imagine what would happen if you Ódeclared warÓ on the bully when you were in high school? We are the bully, we are the enemy.
The U.S. is sponsoring Israel in the war to take over their holy land. This should not be a problem for us, as we killed off all the American Indians for trying to protect their holy land, and they at least had bows and arrows. The Palistinians only have rocks.
I say give them their land back and tell Israel to stay on their side of the border. Jeresulum is on Palastinian land, even though the new U.S. maps might show otherwise.

I was watching the news the other day, and the anchorman, Hal ÓIÕve got an airplaneÓ Fishman, the guy with the airplane, was on, and he was talking about an airplane crash where a Super Sport 7654 airplane went down due to wind conditions, and Hal let us all know how to check the wind before taking off in an airplane. The reason the airplane had wind problems was because it was a mocel 7654 airplane instead of the new model 7655, which came out on Oct 27th, 1993, and had better wind stability. Hal says that when he flys HIS airplane, the wind velocity is a factor in landing and taking off, and to let up on the control panel sooner that the 7655 airplane. Oh, did I mention that Hal has his own airplane? He loves airplanes and you can always count on up to the minute airplane news on HalÕs show. Even on the weather, we can see the storm clouds better from Hal FishmanÕs airplane, which he just took up that day so he could use the footage for his airplane story later that night. Oh, did I mention that Hal likes to talk about his airplane?

FROM: ROCK CITY NEWS, LOS ANGELES, VOL 18, NO 20

Hello Mr. Everlast, it's time for another round. I've got my gloves and I'm mad. Whack whack, take that, you F*&king punching bag, and that, and that, and that. Now I feel better, get some aggression out.
How about all those striking unions. They want more money. The bus drives aren't happy with $50/hr. The working class with unions want more of America's new wealth. They're all fighting for a piece of the pie. The janitors already won. If you become a member of the working class bees, the queen bee's union will reward you with more money. If you want to be independent, free, and artistic, you get nothing.
Where is all this new American Economy wealth we keep hearing about? All Clinton does is talk about how great the economy is. All every body talks about is how great the economy is. Unfortunately they don't tell you who the economy boom is benefiting. It's benefiting the stock market, which are huge corporate companies. Ant the stock market, which is all the people that have extra money to invest in the stock market. That's who the economy is benefiting. There's nothing new for the independent small business owners. Look around you. I've been here in Hollywood for 20 years and have been up and down these streets more times than I care to say. I've seen almost every small business go under! But new ones pop up, last a few years, and go under. All of them. The economy is not benefiting small companies in any way, shape or form. In fact, it hurting them. The large companies are pushing out the little guys everywhere. Is this what the new great economy is all about? Imagine going to your favorite small beach town and seeing nothing but Macy's and McDonalds.
Our government need to step in and protect America's small businesses. They are failing by the millions while Clinton gloats in his self proclaimed Ógreat economyÓ and the corporate company all become millionaires.
So all the bus drivers and janitors and who knows who get massive raises from the new booming economy. The minimum wage goes up, the Unions of the masses make sure they get their fair share, and the only people that loose are the independents. The artists. The ones that took a chance to start a business, to take their chance at finding the American dream, only to get dashed against the rock by the rising tide of union strikes, increasing wages, and inflation.
I guess what all this boils down to is that the local musicians need a union, and not one of those RIAA supported fiascoes, but a real self organized union. Something like the Bandwagon.

OK, enough already, let's get down to some real meat.
Apparently the government has delayed it's action against Microsoft, sending it to the appeals court first before it goes to the allowing them to continue all their illegal practices for a few more years while they add more appeals. Obviously the government is helpless against large companies such as this, and even if does someday manage to separate Microsoft Windows from Microsoft Explorer and Word, so what. Windows is still a monopoly. What's changed?
Did you hear Microsoft bought WordPerfect, one of the only real competitors? And Claris, another, is now owned by Apple/Macintosh, which is hurting due to it's stupid "cube" idea. Granted the cute colors and plastic shapes were a good gimmick for Macintosh, but the cube does nothing new. And what's up with that advertising slogan they use "Think different." Who want's to think different in the computer business? It's hard enough to figure out these new programs without having to "think different" That slogan will drive Macintosh into the ground.
And speaking of how hard it is to learn these new programs, I have to give a big finger to Adobe, who's programs are now so complicated you need to have a private teacher, or spend $200/day to go to a seminar to learn how to use them. And forget about Illustrator. Unless you're going to use it all the time, and spend a month learning, it's impossible to figure out.
I remember when Photoshop was easy. Now it takes a masters degree to figure is all out, and by the time you do, it's outdated by a new version, which only costs $200 for the upgrade. The latest version, which has 2,079 new features and a big hidden reddish inflated phallic dick on the cover, should attract all those faithful Microsoft users. Adobe is truly following in the footsteps of Microsoft, monopolizing their specialty and then producing ridiculously complicated software. Since they're about the only software company Macintosh has left, we're troubled by what may lie ahead.
In other news, I am fully behind the proposed ban on driving and talking on the telephone. Our faithful, loving dog was recently hit by a car by a girl talking on her cell phone, and she didn't even stop. This shows the callous attitude of people that talk while driving. They are causing accidents everywhere, and we must protect ourselves, friends, children, and small animals, from these careless drivers. The law must require both hands to be free while driving.
Since I've got some space to fill here, how about those stupid signs on the 101 that say 101 South when it's really East. All the way from Laurel Canyon to Oxnard or so, the on ramps say North and South, when it's really East and West. Is the Transportation Department crazy? And did you ever try to take the 134 west from Pasadena to the 101 to Hollywood? Impossible, yes, but if you know what you're doing you take Forest Lawn. If you're not a local, it's impossible. You might as well go back to Ohio, and come back and try again from a different side of town. There is an exit that says Hollywood somewhere around Cahuenga or somewhere, but as soon as you get off the freeway you're lost, as there are no signs that say which way to Hollywood.
And how many times have you gone to Hollywood from the valley, got off on Highland on that downhill twisting off ramp. You now, the one with the ski bumps and flying ramps on the sharpest curves, and 9 out of 10 times some idiot will pass you doing 90 about 2 feet off the road, just before the lanes merge into one lane and into more traffic. This ride is usually better than Disneyland.
And Web experts keep trying to encrypt music so it can't be copied freely. I heard they are also trying to put a copyright on H2O. If you can hear the music, you can copy it.
And where were you all at the Rock City protest last Thursday? Only 6 people showed up to help Rock City protect it's name. Perhaps you think Cleveland is the Rock Capitol of the World. Or Oklahoma. Or wherever this new infringing corporation decides it wants to be. Rock City is not only a name, but a statement. L.A. is the rock and roll capitol of the world. Let's keep it that way, and protect our heritage by claiming our rightful title. Rock City is L.A.'s historical rock newspaper with significant cultural value. It's not a teenybopper TV sitcom that come greedy corporation is trying to make it. Fight for L.A. Be proud of where you are today!
Bite On Hollywood - Fade To Black - For Immediate Release - L.A. Scoop - Welcome to the Jungle - Inside the Industry - Metal Ledge - In My World - Blues News - Igneous Rock - Industrial Strength - Supersonics - Special
Staff - Columns - Interviews - Reviews - Live Photos - Demo Line - Classifieds
Rock City News - L.A. Clubs - L.A. Bands - Great Links - RC Archives - Photography -
RC Graphics - Editorial - Advertising - L.A. Directory - Other Pages - E Mail - Home