TORIE TYSON
at The Coconut Teaszer

By The King of Rock Fans

It would be disrespectful not to go check out TORIE TYSON. She has a kick ass PR staff who constantly bombards you with calls and flyers, so that's it's almost impossible not to know what Torie's doing and where she's playing at all times! The Coconut Teaszer is like her home court, and my favorite place to see her. This time she came on after The Oakley-Krieger Band--a second generation southern rock sensation descended from the Doors and the Allman Bros.

Then Torie took the stage. As I look around me, the audience's first reaction was to stare in disbelief...but then, I watched smiles slowly spread across their faces. This is after all, Torie Tyson the self-proclaimed "Queen of Shake"--not too tall, with big, bad ass balls, and a voice that enthralls.

I think she stole her purple coat from Prince, and bought her motorcycle hat at Freddie Mercury's estate sale. She's a mini dominatrix with a booty that shakes and a voice that belts. She's the kind of girl you'd pay $500.00 to call you a dog, and make you drink from your own toilet and you'd thank her for it--Thank you, mistress Torie! Please sing me another one, Mistress Torie!

Her songs are a hybrid of Blondie-type pop, and Janis type rock! Two guitars, a keyboard, bass and a really cool drummer (in the pocket and dynamically supreme!) back her up, but there might as well be a curtain in front of them because all you notice is Torie. Oh, and you also notice the barrage of lecherous lonely men drooling at the front of the stage! This show was a rare occurrence since I didn't see one single old guy shooting pictures up at her from under her skirt---Funny, I never see those pictures in RCN.

At the end of her show she does a 20 minute version of her orgasm epic "Really Want You." I'd make this the title theme song for Phone Sex-The Musical if there was such a musical. She moans, groans, slithers on the floor, feigns intercourse with one guitar and oral sex with the other.

All this for three dollars. I hardly ever get off that cheap at Le Sex Shoppe! For info on this hot little act call her publicist (818) 785-7144 or (310) 558-6608 for a list of upcoming Torie events. Tell them the King of Rock Fans sent you!